Sleepless - A McRoll in the REAL World story
by Mari217
Summary: Catherine and Steve reminisce and it leads her to recall some very special moments when she finds herself a bit sleepless.


_Sammy & Ilna - I've long since run out of ways to call you the best of everything. Especially friends._

 _REALMcRollers - thanks for all the Cammie love on my last story. She loves you back. Woof!_

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 **Sleepless**

 _ **Sunday**_

Catherine rolled carefully from her left side to her right, tucking her arm under her head without opening her eyes. Seconds later she flexed her legs and repositioned them, sighing softly when she felt Steve's weight shift. She blinked at him in the darkness as he turned to face her. "Sorry."

"I was awake," he said quietly. "I've been up longer than you." He slid his arm across her waist to her hip when she moved closer to tuck into his side. "Can't sleep?"

She shrugged. "Not sure why, just a little sleepless, I guess." She passed a hand across his chest before resting it over his heart. "You too?" Steve rarely had trouble sleeping. Neither did she, actually, maybe a few times a year if she was excited about a family visit or overtired after a long haul on a case. "No dreams though, right?" She'd have known, but asked to be sure.

He kissed the top of her head. "No, I'm good. I just ..." he shrugged the shoulder she wasn't pressed against, "woke up. When you started shifting I knew you wouldn't stay asleep long."

"Time's it?" she asked quietly, her question muffled against his skin. It was cool and she felt slightly chilly.

He craned to check the phone with her still tucked against his left side. "Just after midnight."

"Good." It was better to lose an hour or two earlier in the night than close to morning. "We have hours."

"We have all day. No plans till your brunch with Gracie this afternoon, remember?"

"Mmmhmm," she sighed. "We're a pair, huh?"

"Always."

She felt rather than saw the familiar smile. "I mean both sleepless at the same time. You're sure I didn't wake you up?" She reached down and tugged the light blanket from where it was pooled around their thighs and covered them against the slight nip of the air conditioner.

"Positive."

He began rubbing her back in a soothing motion and she could feel her whole body relax. She sighed deeply and kissed his shoulder. "Sleep, Steve."

"You first." A tiny grin raised the corner of his mouth.

She smiled in response. "I remember not wanting to sleep, how about you?"

He nodded. "Cause it cut into our time together. Lots of times, I'd literally fight to stay awake even after you'd fallen asleep so I could watch you."

"I remember you almost falling asleep over room service pasta our first day of leave in Seville." Her fingers made little patterns around his belly button.

"Maybe because you wore me out, Lieutenant." He chuckled, then added seriously, "And I'd spent half the night watching you sleep."

"Awww." She stretched to kiss his jaw, then his lips before settling. Watching Steve sleep had always brought her a sense of peace and comfort. And staying awake to capture every second of their time together talking about everything and nothing had always been absolutely worth it. "You can watch me anytime you want. Forever."

"Good." His simple answer spoke volumes when accompanied by a contented sigh. "Because that's my plan." His hand continued to circle over her skin but she could hear in his voice he'd be drifting off soon.

"Ya know," she whispered. "I'm thinkin' "

"Hmm?"

"I'm not having brunch till late. Plenty of time to sleep in and have breakfast in bed."

"I'll never say no to that."

"Perfect. I wanna run with Cammie, though. So if you make whatever you want we can go back to sleep after we eat."

"Just eat?" His voice was sleepy, but she could feel his grin.

"And make up some more reserve time."

"Now _that_ sounds perfect." He placed another kiss on top of her head. "Think you can sleep now?"

"You sleep, I'm right behind you." She yawned softly and smiled when a minute later the hand rubbing circles on her back stilled as Steve's breathing evened out. She tilted her head slightly to see his face. He looked relaxed and satiated and more youthful than when he was awake. For as long as she'd known him, he'd always looked younger when he slept. Catherine ran gentle fingers through the flecked with grey hair at his temple before settling again. She found him even more handsome now than the first night they'd spent together and she still fell a little bit more in love each time she watched him sleep.

When she closed her eyes, images from some of those times played across the lids. Her smile returned. She could picture Steve's face relaxed in slumber when she'd awakened during their first night together. He'd slept in pretty much the same position - flat on his back, arm flung up over his head to the side - that he still ended up in every night. Catherine had laid perfectly still, awash in emotion. She was so, so happy and a little giddy that they'd taken the step from best friends to lovers; worried at his pending deployment; and excited about being with him again even as she was languid and still a bit boneless after … her tongue peeked out with her smile … how many rounds of lovemaking _had_ it been? She'd snuggled into his side and fallen asleep with a grin still on her lips.

Another memory bubbled to the surface and she sighed contentedly, albeit quietly, so as not to wake Steve. In her mind's eye she could see the half smile etched on his lips as he'd slept, their faces mere inches apart, on the futon the night he broke her boxspring and his toe. They'd fallen asleep after chuckling about one thing or another - she couldn't recall what - but she remembered the wonderful feeling of watching him relaxed in sleep like it was yesterday. He'd come off a mission and as the weekend progressed, he had relaxed more and more, leaving his sleeping face to look almost as young as when they'd met. She'd placed silly, playful kisses on his lips until he'd woken and his deep kiss ignited a wildfire of passion. They hadn't left the futon for the rest of the morning.

Other images of watching Steve sleep tumbled through her thoughts. Stretched out on the blow-up bed in their den during Thanksgiving week when they hosted the family. Waking up before he did in Bangkok and being so incredibly happy and grateful he'd realized he couldn't protect her from loving him - that it just wasn't possible - she'd simply laid her head against the crook of his neck and breathed him in until he'd woken to kiss her senseless.

How he'd looked in Paris when he'd fallen asleep after taking care of her for the night. And in Italy, after finally admitting his bruised ribs and stitches required an ice pack, ibuprofen and some sleep and he'd actually given into letting her care for him.

Memories surfaced of holding Steve for hours when finally, after a full day of travel once she was granted leave, she'd arrived at his door after John's death.

Of how he'd almost reverently repeated her name in a hoarse whisper when they'd made love.

Of how before he'd given in to sleep that night he'd reached for her twice more.

Of how she knew even after days without rest, he'd needed the affirmation of life he could only find from being with Catherine - a need only she could understand because she could only find it in him.

When he'd finally slept, it was with them entwined together, his head resting on her chest, for nearly seven straight hours. She hadn't gotten up or moved once. As he'd slept, she'd smoothed his hair and run her fingers across his temple in a way she knew soothed him, and as she watched in the dim light, the pain lines around his eyes began to soften. Knowing she'd provided him the comfort he so desperately needed warmed her heart and soul.

A tiny grin danced across her lips as she recalled watching Steve's eyes flutter open after _breaking in_ the new bed frame they'd put together when he'd asked her to help pick out new bedroom furniture. When he'd said, 'You'll be sleeping in it on all your leaves from now on,' her tummy had fluttered with joy and she couldn't agree quickly enough.

A small chuckle escaped as she remembered gently poking his ribs until he groaned on the day after they brought Cammie home. "Front and center, Commander. Let's take our furry guest outside." She'd already fallen for the dog and Steve's smile and 'Let's see if she wants to swim today,' combined with his willingness to forfeit more sleep gave her another clue as to just how smitten Steve was with the as yet unnamed Cammie and that the dog had found her forever home with them.

Hearing his murmured, "Now it's really a _home_. Forever," before falling asleep the night they'd signed the papers adding her to the deed had filled her chest with warmth akin to hot caramel. She'd watched him sleep and knew his content expression was something she'd treasure always.

Steve had been the first to wake on the day of their wedding but on their first day as a married couple, it was Catherine who'd been first to open her eyes. Her fingers rested against his pulsepoint and she'd smiled because their hearts were beating in sync. They hadn't slept much but she'd scooted even closer and placed a soft kiss on his lips when she'd opened her eyes just after dawn. He'd smiled in his sleep and moved to pull her tighter against his side. She'd watched him for a few minutes thinking, ' _Husband,_ he's my _husband'_ and ' _Still us'_ before she'd fallen back to sleep herself.

Just this weekend, Catherine had woken in the wee hours on Saturday and watched him sleep for a few minutes before dragging a stray rose petal across his cheek and jaw to wake him. His smoldering look and sexy smile were contagious as she mused, "Wonder if flower stains come out of comforters?" before pulling him into a searing kiss.

Saturday afternoon, they'd dozed on the sofa after running Cammie and when Catherine had woken him to say she was getting up to order pizza, she teased about having to add food delivery to the clothing allowable clause for naked weekend. Steve nodded sleepily and reached for his boardies along with clothes she'd worn for the run and said, "No getting dressed 'til after you call" while pulling her closer. The call to order pizza was delayed by forty five minutes, but when their dinner did arrive, they'd polished off the whole pie and laughed about how much fuel they'd need for the rest of the weekend. Then they'd lain back down and dozed off again, cocooned in the warmth of the afghan.

.

As the memories flitted through her thoughts Catherine relaxed further, and soon slumber was pulling at her. She turned onto her left side and tucked her hands beneath her chin. A sigh escaped her lips when seconds later without waking, Steve shifted from his normal position and wrapped himself around her, his arm draping her torso, his breath soft against the nape of her neck as he murmured, "L've you, C'th."

Her last thought before succumbing to sleep as she snuggled back against him was, "and I love you right back."

# End thanks for reading

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